"I grew up a fuckin' screw up" - damn those are some serious words. We've all made mistakes when we were younger, but it's not fair to those that never had the help to get better, outlets to release their negativity. Then, it's certainly a possibility, that their lifestyle becomes parallel to what is on TV and what society dictates for them. Why wouldn't they? Who else is paying attention to them? Then, they realize they are not part of the "normal people" group.
You start searching for who you are and to find the motivation to discover yourself. It's a practice, just like how MJ had to practice become the best player in the world. Wow, makes a lot sense when you write and don't think.
Purge the words inside you and see what happens. Get rid of your thoughts, but manage them, and open new channels of creativity and clarity.
This moment happens for everyone, believe!