As a reminder, I was diagnosed with severe depression 2 years ago and I've been living with this disease for as long as I can remember. I immediately got on a treatment plan with my therapist and psychiatrist and I finally experienced how amazing life really is. But, I didn't know you can relapse from this horrible mental disease.
I've been experiencing some depressive symptoms on and off for the past 45 days. My emotional state has not in the best place, but I can now identify what's going on because of my previous experiences and thanks to my therapy sessions.
When Elexis was born, I started cutting back on my therapy because I thought I had no time for myself. This is kinda true - I'm sure all new parents can relate to what I'm talking about, right? Recently, my therapist asked me why I'm resisting therapy and resisting taking time for myself. I was skipping out on my treatment because I was "too busy" with other shit going on.
She (my therapist) proceeded to dive deeper in to this subject matter and she realized that I was experiencing a relapse in my depression. My depression was clouding my judgement and took over my mental capacity. The depression took over without me even knowing - bastard! What the fuck is that about, right? Well, apparently skipping out on therapy can trigger a relapse - it can also be a slew of other things, but dodging therapy is common in a relapse episode. Just like anything else, you have to be committed to managing this disease or it can creep up and slap you in the face without you even knowing it - at least that's what happened to me.
This relapse crept up on me like a sniper - I didn't see it coming and it tagged me. Luckily, I was able to identify (with the help of my therapist) what was going on and now a treatment plan can take place. Early detection of a relapse is so crucial to one's happiness. The more you are aware of the situation, the faster you can treat the disease and move on with your life in a positive direction.
If you have a relapse, you might feel overwhelmed, frustrated and deeply disappointed. But “don’t measure your success living with depression on whether relapse happens or not. Instead, realize that if relapse occurs, true success comes from rising after the fall. A good mantra is the Japanese proverb: “Fall down seven times, get up eight.”
And, again, whether you have a relapse or not, take good care of yourself, seek support and show yourself some compassion. Depression is a difficult illness. But, with treatment and healthy strategies, you can manage (and possibly eliminate) your symptoms and get better.