Writing is one of the best tools I use to purge. We all need to release some of the blockage in our creative channels in order to gently release the tightly clenched grip that I can feel around my neck - and I need to dig deep in to my toolbox and to ask for help during this time.
Coming home from Portland was a harder transition back to this life than I thought. Grinding and hustling the talk show is really hard. Building an audience that cares about the same content you do is not easy, but there are highs and lows in life and the goal is to stay present and remember that if today is low, tomorrow can be high.
Getting high is a rush, right? That can be a metaphor for many things, but I am referring to the natural high of life - the times we feel like we're on cloud 9 without using a substance (even though everything is a substance). Is it ok to either be high or low? Or do we want to live in a medium in between both? Hard to call out now because my entire life has been based on highs and lows.
You might be confused on why I'm going on a tangent, but this is what helps me get unstuck and continue moving towards opening myself up. I chose to put my life in the public eye because I truly and sincerely hope that my feelings, my journey can help someone else out. Expect the truth and expect the DOG (DMX reference for my girl Justine) to bark when there's something wrong and to cuddle when something feels right.
Everyday challenges and obstacles are thrown our way (consciously or sub-consciously) and it's cool. You can't ignore it. You have to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that "Today I am feeling emotionally down." And that it is ok. I want to use this opportunity to write more, explore myself more and to continue down this path of greatness, but not everyday is going to be great.
I had a cool chat today with Dante Chestnut who's working on this cool campaign to assist inner-city kids that there are other options out there as opposed to street-violence. Violence can destroy not only the person who is inflicted with it, but also the person who performs the act. Believe it or not, we are all human, mistakes do happen and forgiveness is a huge thing to ask for when someone hurt someone you love(d).
Today I am grateful to pursue my dreams, I have a supportive wife, a baby cooking in the oven and I have no idea what tomorrow holds, but I am going to be honest and face it head on. Real is not perception, it's being real. It's sitting in shit and being ok with it. Say that again, sitting in shit is ok. Yea, it's fine and we all have the ability to clean ourselves up and to continue down the path we want. Choices can make or break someone, huh? Being selfish is so much easier than being selfless, but what good does that give us? To give or not to give.
Awareness is so crucial to one's emotional well-being. That is step 1 for anything in life. Understand there's something wrong and then you can fix using tools that work for YOU. Writing is just one of my tools. I am going to swim and sit in the hot tub today - that's another tool I have. I am going to meet up with Theo today and hang/work with him - being around good people is another tool I have. I have some oils that I smell to provide me with a little aromatherapy - also music is a huge mood changer as well.
Explore yourself, be gentle to yourself, but be honest with yourself.